Quill

Unsaid Feelings //

// sometimes you can look like you’re laughing and having fun, but deep down your whole chest hurts trying to keep up the facade. each forced laugh tears you a little from the inside, and you forcefully bite your lip to stop the tears from flowing. the emptiness weighs you down and as you tumble into oblivion, you watch your whole life unbecoming right in front of you. you try to escape but your body seems to have lost all its functioning. you stare hard into the mirror, hoping for any explanation whatsoever. you look at moving buses and children laughing and couples fighting, but all you are is a spectator. all you feel is this numbing sensation that is continuously buzzing in your head. you can’t escape it. it is a part of you now. it is you. you are the disjointed and disintegrating pieces of what was once a functioning human. //

Poetry, Quill

Phoenix

I am shoved under,
My opinion is shushed,
My soul, sundered.
Day after day, scorching my existence
Day after day, disdaining my resistants
Worldly affairs might burn me down
Turn me into ash and extol my breakdown but,
I am the PHOENIX and I’ll rise from the ground.
I am the PHOENIX and I’ll rise from the ground.

Open Letters, Quill

What Do I Know

To What Do I Know,


Honestly, I don’t really believe in the concept of good songs, bad songs, or favorite songs at all. There are just relatable and not so relatable songs.


Maybe ‘Tu Koi Aur Hai’ struck a chord in the heart of that writer who was forced to pursue science- so it became his favorite song. Maybe ‘Phir Le Aaya Dil’ resonates the same pain, the same longing she has for her (not so) lost lover- so it’s her favorite song. And just like that when we all just couldn’t understand what ‘Gucci Gang’ was trying to imply- we tossed in the other can.


What synchronizes with your core, inadvertently, sticks to your core. Our desperation to be understood, to find something we can relate to, is probably what unites us as humans.


And for a man like me who just can’t comprehend ‘why are people so bad to each other, so often, why can’t people simply love’ What Do I know comes to my rescue. It isn’t exactly a love song and neither is it one of those freestyles that bombard bold political statements covered in beats.

It’s all about simplicity and maybe that is exactly how it fulfills its purpose. 

It’s listening to Ed Sheeran read Hafiz in Rumi’s field. It’s about realizing you don’t need mass movements to change the world- ‘we could change this whole world with a piano, add a bass, some guitar, grab a beat and away we go.’ A subtlety asking us to stop finding loopholes in our own moral fiber on the name of growth. It’s Ed telling us when another pandemic breaks or the stock market crashes, he’d still be sitting here with a song that he wrote, singing, love could change the world in a moment 

But what do I know?

Quill

Thoughts?

Now that the sight of my phone makes me want to puke and there is no movies or books that can engage me anymore.

I sit and think.

When did we grow up?

Wasn’t it just yesterday when the 4 year old me held my little sisters hand for the first time, measured her little hand with mine. Now she constantly measures her height with me and says I’ll get taller than you. When did my little one grow up?

Wasn’t it just yesterday when my best friend used to cry about everything and come to me for every little advice. A day before, she gave me the most apt/wise advice ever. When did she grow up?

Wasn’t it just yesterday that another of my friend used to get jealous and angry at little things, now he reads Rumi and Hafiz. When did he grow up?

Wasn’t it just yesterday, when in school we saw our senior bhaiya and didis,so tall so much wiser than us. When did we become those bhaiyas and didis?

When did we grow up?

Quill

Make A Wish

Make a wish to the universe hoping for it to come true. It’s a common belief that 11:11 means that your thoughts are manifesting quickly, so choose your thoughts (make a wish) when you see 11:11. I think that’s a bit simplistic. 11:11 is a wakeup call from those higher realms telling you that you must be at your purest to be your best. Whether you’re a spiritual person or not, believe that it brings positivity and luck to you and it will. Whether it’s 11:11 on the clock, the last digits of your phone number, bike number plate or your restaurant bill, if it makes you happy to close your eyes and whisper to the universe, do it!So yes, Call your cards.Make a wish.Do it if it makes you happy!


Poetry, Quill

The Weaver

Amidst the rain
Amidst the thunder
There was a tiny weaver
Seeking to build itself a nest
Typical yet stood out the rest.
The tree swirled a million times
The twigs kept falling off the climb
Still determined.
That bird endured the bitter clime
It tried and tried until the nest held shape
And not for once did the bird even attempted an escape
What startled me the most was not the nest
It was average looking yet better than the rest
What startled me the most was the bird.
Its persistence its trivial and its pluck
And if that tiny weaver could brook such a hefty trap
What has made us handicapped?

Poetry, Quill, Write Ups

A Gospel //

// you can build the thickest,
strongest, tallest door but
grief will find its way in ;
you can have the perfect body
but sadness with find itself a spot ;
you can surround yourself with
all the fanciest things yet
your heart will yearn for love ;
you can pretend to be numb
but loneliness with demand to be felt ;
however ordinary or extraordinary
lives we may lead,
we are all plagued by our sorrows,
just hoping tomorrow brings less pain. //

Poetry, Quill

माँ

मैं मिलों दूर ही सही
वो कभी फासला नहीं करती
मैं कभी भूल भी जाऊं बात करना
वो कभी मलाल नहीं करती
मेरी याद में बहाती होगी आसूं बहुत
मगर दर्द को अपने बयान नहीं करती
मांगती रहती है जाने दूआएं कितनी
पूछूं जो कभी तो कहती है गिना नही करती
दे कर अपना सब कुछ मुझको
वो माँ ही तो है जो कभी हिसाब नहीं करती |

Poetry, Quill, Write Ups

A New Understanding //

// look at your ‘protruding’ belly
and see how it houses the
nourishment for your entire body,
look at your ‘bulky’ arms
and see how they make magic
out of everything they touch,
look at your ‘scarred’ legs
and see how they let you
experience all the wonders of the world,
look at your ‘boring’ eyes
and see how they capture
everything you love so deeply,
look at your ‘flawed’ smile
and see how it expresses
all the joy you feel,
look at yourself –
your beautiful self,
how dare you ever convince
yourself that you weren’t
good enough because you
don’t look like you were chiselled
out of beauty magazine 101;
look at yourself with
a gentle gaze
and you’ll realise that
just like you,
your body craves for
love and acceptance too. //

Poetry, Quill

Thunder

the rain felt like a fading memory
before i met you
but that night
i felt like
there was a legacy between me & the sky
the rain poured in torrents
& a numbing sense of pain
that we both felt in our hearts
seemed to fade away
as we both touched
it felt as if
two souls have become one
we heard the sound of our thoughts
and the heart pumping
inside two shallow mediocre human beings time stopped
unfurling all senses as a taste of you
nearly silenced all my thoughts
but that night
as the oceans, the skies, the moon
looked upon us
they were envious
of the smell of thunder that hung in air
we could feel a fire within us
& no amount of rain could’ve doused it off.