Poetry, Quill

Thunder

the rain felt like a fading memory
before i met you
but that night
i felt like
there was a legacy between me & the sky
the rain poured in torrents
& a numbing sense of pain
that we both felt in our hearts
seemed to fade away
as we both touched
it felt as if
two souls have become one
we heard the sound of our thoughts
and the heart pumping
inside two shallow mediocre human beings time stopped
unfurling all senses as a taste of you
nearly silenced all my thoughts
but that night
as the oceans, the skies, the moon
looked upon us
they were envious
of the smell of thunder that hung in air
we could feel a fire within us
& no amount of rain could’ve doused it off.

Poetry, Quill, Write Ups

Happiness //

// the waterfall
inside of me
has learnt the
right momentum
to flow with;
no more floods,
no more droughts,
just a gentle cascade. //

Poetry, Quill

इष्क़

प्यार बोहत है उसको मुझसे,

मगर गुस्से में शायद, 

आज हाथ उसके झूल गए,

कैसा बेदर्द इष्क है तेरा,

क्यों ले रहा कुर्बानी,

औरत हूं, कोई पाप नहीं,

पर इस प्यार, इष्क़, मोहब्बत में,

शायद हम इज्जत देना भूल गए।.

Poetry, Quill

ज़िंदा तो हो ही ना तुम!

तो क्या हुआ जो दिल टूट गया,
ज़िंदा तो हो ही ना तुम!

तो क्या हुआ जो ख्वाहिशें नहीं हुई पूरी,
तो क्या हुआ जो छोड़ गया वो तुम्हे,
तो क्या हुआ जो इबादत सरीखा ईश्क़ अधूरा रह गया,
ज़िंदा तो हो ही ना तुम!

तो क्या हुआ जो अंदर सब खोखला सा रह गया,
ज़िंदा तो हो ही ना तुम!

तो क्या हुआ जो दिल हो गया पत्थर,
तो क्या हुआ जो आँखें बन गयी दरिया,
तो क्या हुआ जो लिपट गयी खामोशियाँ,
ज़िंदा तो हो ही ना तुम!

तो क्या हुआ जो दिल टूट गया,
ज़िंदा तो हो ही ना तुम!

Poetry, Quill

Sinful Ink


The poison is falling off the blade of my pen,

It’s beautiful, the scrawl upon a dead body,

Wonder lies in the breath of a child,

As it climbs atop a tree,

he finds paradise,

But this child is now a part of them,

He poisons his pages,

In the memory of someone he loved,

He paints a picture,

not a thousand words,

Only three would satisfy his heart,

The poison is falling off the blade of my pen,

And it’s clearing my mind and my soul from within,

I want it, not desire it,

I need it, not require it,

My venom is out, it’s flowing from my pen,

My poetry, it opens me, such a beautiful sin.

Poetry, Quill

Business

I often pour cranberry blend into a decanter and leave it for a couple of days to rot.

Until it turns rancid and all the sugar turns sour. To sip on it is an acquired taste, more like inhaling cigarette smoke.

And while I lay on my bed, with closed doors closed and lights off, with this secret recipe of mine, I wonder to myself-

Am I allowed to feel?

I do know you can trick people but not yourself and I do try- to be true to my conscience- and let this gloom envelope me. But I fail

I fail to feel

A deep heavy voice strikes the back of my head, “You can’t waste this opportunity. Not often does this mighty sadness descent upon you. Stop mourning and trying to feel and go and create. Mould this gloom into a poetry or something before it vanishes.”

A good businessman gives his clients what they desire the most and also makes sure that he pounces on every good opportunity. And poetry, and this word play.

Isn’t it but- Business.

And isn’t this what this generation of ours, this generation of half hearts and half smiles, truly desires? Talks of pain and narrations of sorrow that tells them you’re not alone.

So I throw my hand on the switch right above my bed. Pull out the chair, and the dusty diary from the right of the book shelf. And I take a quick glance on the screen of my phone- I click your tab to check if there’s any new message, I smile at nothing, have a good look of your face and re read our previous conversations- all this before my conscience catches me.

And by the time, conscience could react to this cold heart of mine, I already have used that glimpse of you as a source of rage, of fuel, just as this pen uses ink and have begun to write.

Poetry

Yaadein/Baatein

सुबह की ये मन्द मन्द सी गरमी
ना जाने क्यों अपने साथ ये ठंडी हवाएं लाती है,
उड़ा लेना चाहती हैं शायद मुझे अपने साथ
क्यों ये मुझे इतना भाती हैं?

चेहरे पर रौशनी पड़ती है जब सूरज की
खुद ब खुद आँखों का परदा गिरता है तेरी याद में :
दूर इतने तू…
दूर इतने तू की मुझतक तेरी आवाज़ें भी न पहुंचे
ज़रुरत भी क्या है..
इन हवाओं से ही तो अब हमारी मुलाकातें होती हैं ।

दिल को ऐसे पिघलाती है ये ठंडी हवा
जैसे कानों को कोयल के मीठे बोल सुन गए हों,
कौन न सुन ना चाहे इनको?
शायद इसीलिए दीवारों के भी कान होते हैं(?)

सुबह उठकर तुझे याद करता था मैं
यादों में बातें थी, या बातों में यादें ?

इस दिल के सन्नाटे को अब मैं
सुनकर भी अनसुना कर देता हूँ,
अब मैं तुझे याद नहीं करता
अब मैं चाय गरम पीता हूँ ।

Poetry

Lifeless //

// a thousand broken dreams reside
inside the almond-shaped depressions;
a tiring heart beats waiting for answers-
digging out life one breath at a time;
the tear-stained cheeks give nothing away-
but the people point and whisper,
“here in this body,
there once was a soul .” //

Poetry, Quill

Top Of The World

[Intro Speech]
Ambition is a scary thing, mate.
But let me tell you this, what’s real tough is not the journey…
Not at all. It’s what comes after that.
While you rush for your dreams, even the hate acts a fuel, pumping up your adrenaline. You get to convert every emotion, form pain to love, into a rush that makes you even more dedicated towards your goal.
But once you reach there… then what? You can’t rush no more… What to do with all the love and the hate? When you can’t ignore everything anymore? When you can’t just run to the top any longer, cause you’re already there. And then…

[Verse 1]
Then soon they’ll discuss you to the point of imprisonment
until you’re left with no choice but to reminiscent
of the times when you hadn’t yet lost your mind
tryna figuring out
who was up there against and who was standing on your side. And now
the expectations exponentially rise
so to cope up
I started bullying my mind
exploiting it in ways I shouldn’t do
but it helped me pull out rhymes I otherwise
wouldn’t be able to
jot down. It’s like,
snacking on valium every single night
giving rise to a pain that
acts like the price
that you pay to the critics in return for their smiles. But now
I just can’t let go of this dine
cause twenty-four seven I’d be hitting this vibe
lying bare on my bed
hallucinating the crimes
that I’d be committing
if I hadn’t got these rhymes.

[Background Speech]
Now speaking of crimes… it takes me back… back to you

[Acoustic Chorus]
When the night, seems, a tad too dark
When you’re sitting alone, the life so hard
And a tear rolls down your ruffled cheek
Don’t throw your hand to wipe it quick
No more second thoughts…
.
.
.
Come sit by me…
I’ll be on the top of the world…
.
.
.
Waiting for you…
Lonely…

[Verse 2]
And the Sixteenth of may
would have been our anniversary day
but we parted ways
September twenty seven was that day
and ever since I’m trying to reach you
got some words to say but
never had a chance so I put them in this verse to lay.

You were always full of whats and whys
complaining the grass looked greener on my side
but you had to get your perspective wide
to understand the pain I hide.
My life was almost a homicide
that time I was so traumatized
I needed your shoulder to cry
but you pulled your back on me that time.

And now I get it too,
It was fine if you really wanted to leave
but was there any need to prick the bubble
right in me ears and wake me up from my sleep
Cause we were still together holding hands
sitting across the sunset point, in my dreams.

[Acoustic Chorus]
When the night, seems, a tad too dark
When you’re sitting alone, the life so hard
And a tear rolls down your ruffled cheek
Don’t throw your hand to wipe it quick
No more second thoughts…
.
.
.
Come sit by me…
I’ll be on the top of the world…
.
.
.
Waiting for you…
Lonely…

[Verse 3]
Now I don’t get what am I supposed to be-
a soldier who never loses his composure?
who never blunts, neither lets out a grunt?
And I’m honestly sorry for blowing off once
Though it still was better than disappearing for months
And even knowing that I was mourning that time
for the losses I had
It still wasn’t a reason big enough for you to call me back.
Instead you gave it to your friend, who went on and on
confronting me for the man I was
But tell me one thing love, did she even have a clue
of what that sting was.
So take this is as a gentle knock, on the door of your brain
to never mock again, a pain that you haven’t endured

Though this is not what it is all about
cause I know I crossed my limits and
you know you went out of bounds
But now it just seems too heavy to be carried around
this ego thing is pulling both of us down
Let’s make things simpler just how they were
Let’s get back along, both of us together

Cause I know, even though we don’t see each other no more
Deep in your eyes, even when you smile, you wanna cry
What kind of being strong is this, when you can’t even laugh
I’ve let my guard down already, enough of it cherubie, come back.

[Acoustic Chorus]
When the night, seems, a tad too dark
When you’re sitting alone, the life so hard
And a tear rolls down your ruffled cheek
Don’t throw your hand to wipe it quick
No more second thoughts…
.
.
.
Come sit by me…
I’ll be on the top of the world…
.
.
.
Waiting for you…
Lonely…