Some days you’re on the verge of breaking down, because you’re tired of what you are. It’s a feeling that leaves you empty, and you feel the world is breaking down and so are you. But you still hold on, not for you but for the little things, that tell you, “Live a little more.”
In the same moment, you implanted two feelings
We are remnants of people,
some we moved on from,
some we hold onto.
It is hot and boiling anger, born out of confusion, helplessness, and betrayal. It runs in my veins, on a pre determined course. It makes me wonder about the failing society we live in, it leaves me dejected when I glance at the mayhem that has ensued. It makes me weak in front of people who manipulate and distort the lives of others. It makes me impulsive and I take wrong decisions. This searing anger makes me a wild beast as I am unable to tame my emotions. This fury charges me up to wreak havoc. It blinds me to the subtleties of life. It makes me turn my back on hope. It fills me with fire to destroy myself.
And, I readily give in.
I’m hoping that one day I’ll feel fine,
Till then my mind is a mess,
And my heart a warzone,
I can’t tell what’s up or down,
I’m spinning around,
And I’m afraid to judge,
The right from wrong,
I’ll go alone, but I am not so strong,
And I’m shivering in this thunderstorm,
That has flames leaping underneath,
I don’t know what my future holds,
I can’t recall my past,
But my soul will travel far away lands,
While at home I’ll leave my heart,
But I know that it is in good hands,
Fearless I’ll play my part.
I sit in a corner of the bathroom. My school uniform is in tatters. With a swollen face and red eyes adorning my appearance, I reflect on how I was bullied by a couple of seniors. They called me maggot and forced me to strip in front of them. I feel nothing but pity for these inane, fatuous bigheads. Another day in my life, spent in this bathroom, my closet, as I long to come out. But, the time isn’t right. It will take a decade more for acceptance to be served on the platter. I pick myself up and look in the mirror. All I see is a young lad trying to dream and live his dream.
With courage I smile, a farce which I hope becomes my reality. And with this hope, I will live another day and yet another day. Because you don’t need arms for freedom. You simply need guts.
Revolution has begun.
I have been stifled for too long. My body has been beaten and raped. A lot of time has passed by, I don’t run carelessly in the meadows at the back of my home or steal apples from my neighbor’s orchards. I don’t laugh. I lay still and look at my reflection in this dirty mirror, it’s smooth surface shattered when he smashed my head into it. Like the broken shards, my face too reflects a million shades, a myriad feelings and a broken dream, its vestiges filling me with sorrow. I pick up my bruised legs and and wobble at the back of the room, my cage since the last five years. My nimble fingers deftly hold the sleek rifle, my experienced hands filling me with a blazing fire.
Revolution has begun.
Let’s dance to the melody
of our love.
As my favourite season departs, with the onset of spring, I sit and dread the arrival of summers. SUMMERS the season I have inborn dislike, (NOTE: I don’t hate it ) It brings long days, sweaty afternoons, and humid evenings. 🙁
But it is also the season of mangoes, swimming lessons and Summer Breaks. The season of starry nights. I remember when I was a kid, we were a gang of 7-8 kids and would create ruckus in the streets, I guess summers were only for those who felt it. Summer Breaks were cherished, for it brought Nani Ka Ghar, cousins and friends together, a whole month when school bag was left untouched.
And now while leaving for school early in the morning, I see the reddish tint of the summer sun it the sky or at night I sit stargazing, while an familiar smell of the summers hit me, I feel a little less apprehensive about it. I guess summers are welcomed.