Poetry

Alive //

// i feel heaviness in my limbs
hurt in my chest
hope on overgrown cuticles
they say i look dead
but i have never felt more alive
never quite realised how heavy
the burden of breathing is. //

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The Bottom //

// the sun shines fiercely
beads of sweat carpet my back
as i finish the last of my coffee
my eyes dart towards the undissolved
lump of sugar at the bottom
the afternoon is busy with
the rumbling of everyday drudgery
and i sit sweating
quietly wondering how large
my unwanted lump would be
when my glass has run out //

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I Wonder //

// i wonder if you, too, look in the mirror and wish for kind eyes to greet you. i wonder if you, too, look at your half-bitten nails and hope for somebody’s equally misshapen nails to hold them. i wonder if you, too, sometimes flinch at your own touch, surprised by the strange tenderness of your fingers. i wonder if you, too, tremble thinking about all the love you long for. i wonder if you, too, try to calm your heart’s yearning for an all-consuming love. //

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The Unnoticed //

// even though no songs will be sung in our honour,
no eyes will stop at our sight,
no hands will applaud our achievements;
even though we will be forced to trade in our swords for sticks,
we will toil to wield the sword
with our unskilled arms and tired eyes;
even though our deaths be unlamented
and our fight futile,
our unruly arms will not accept defeat. //

Quill

Unsaid Feelings //

// sometimes you can look like you’re laughing and having fun, but deep down your whole chest hurts trying to keep up the facade. each forced laugh tears you a little from the inside, and you forcefully bite your lip to stop the tears from flowing. the emptiness weighs you down and as you tumble into oblivion, you watch your whole life unbecoming right in front of you. you try to escape but your body seems to have lost all its functioning. you stare hard into the mirror, hoping for any explanation whatsoever. you look at moving buses and children laughing and couples fighting, but all you are is a spectator. all you feel is this numbing sensation that is continuously buzzing in your head. you can’t escape it. it is a part of you now. it is you. you are the disjointed and disintegrating pieces of what was once a functioning human. //

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Lily’s Eyes //

// lily had brown eyes. eyes that were ready to jilt everything for a gilded tomb. eyes so clad with avarice that everything else was a mere epiphenomenon of life. eyes burdened with a jeremiad against society for keeping the gold out of its reach. eyes lost on the apocryphal maxim that accumulating enough substance would eventually fill the emptiness plaguing them. //

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Self-Healing //

// saying to yourself,
“i’m a nice person and
i did not deserve what happened to me,”
takes a lot of courage
but it is the first step towards healing. //

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In A World Better Than This //

// 5:06 pm

a few specks of lilac thrown across the sky

a quiet breeze sways

everything is same

as i wait for you

on that rusted park bench;

only this time-

you come. //

Poetry, Quill, Write Ups

A Gospel //

// you can build the thickest,
strongest, tallest door but
grief will find its way in ;
you can have the perfect body
but sadness with find itself a spot ;
you can surround yourself with
all the fanciest things yet
your heart will yearn for love ;
you can pretend to be numb
but loneliness with demand to be felt ;
however ordinary or extraordinary
lives we may lead,
we are all plagued by our sorrows,
just hoping tomorrow brings less pain. //

Poetry, Quill, Write Ups

A New Understanding //

// look at your ‘protruding’ belly
and see how it houses the
nourishment for your entire body,
look at your ‘bulky’ arms
and see how they make magic
out of everything they touch,
look at your ‘scarred’ legs
and see how they let you
experience all the wonders of the world,
look at your ‘boring’ eyes
and see how they capture
everything you love so deeply,
look at your ‘flawed’ smile
and see how it expresses
all the joy you feel,
look at yourself –
your beautiful self,
how dare you ever convince
yourself that you weren’t
good enough because you
don’t look like you were chiselled
out of beauty magazine 101;
look at yourself with
a gentle gaze
and you’ll realise that
just like you,
your body craves for
love and acceptance too. //